


Tireless Afternoons

by Rubrum_Stella



Series: Any time of the day, it's just you [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accountant!Terushima, Chaotic Good, Coming of Age, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Manga Editor! Akiteru, Rare Pairings, Romance, Slow Burn, Terushima is sooo gay for Akiteru and he's very vocal about it, lame jokes bcs I am lame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27409852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubrum_Stella/pseuds/Rubrum_Stella
Summary: Terushima likes Akiteru as much as he likes to resign from his job, but things don't seem to coordinate with him, and getting what he likes was a far cry away from reality.
Relationships: Terushima Yuuji/Tsukishima Akiteru
Series: Any time of the day, it's just you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002573
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the first companion story of Midnight Ventures but it could be still read on its own. It is a rare ship, yes, I know that already so don't come at me.  
> I hope that someone out there would find this enjoyable too because writing this is really just self-indulgent. But anyway, thank you for reading! ♡

Terushima was infuriated. His face was red and he felt like bursting. He was mirroring his father’s expression, both of their chest heaving, nose flaring while his mother was looking at him, nothing in her eyes but disappointment.

“Conversion therapy?” Terushima scoffed, not really sure what to feel at the moment, be offended, anger, or sadness. “Seriously?”

“You’re going there whether you like or not—“

“No. You could go there by yourselves,” Terushima was trying to be calm, really, but another wire of his patience was cut off when his father banged the table. Both he and his Mom flinched at the loud sound. He walked closer to him with his finger pointing straight at Terushima’s forehead.

“I’m straightening you out. There’s no way that a Terushima would be gay,” Terushima would be lying if what his father said didn’t hurt because fuck, it shattered him. He’s an only child and a man, the person who is supposed to elongate the name of the Terushimas. But he knew that he couldn’t do it. Not when he also likes boys.

“Why the heck are you so pressed about me being gay? What’s wrong with it—“

“Everything’s wrong with it, Yuuji,” His Mom said. She was already crying but the disappointment on her face was just getting stronger. If she was looking at his song earlier with just utter disappointment, now she looked like she’s disgusted with him. It’s the last thing that Terushima wanted especially that it's his parents that are doing it to him.

“What the fuck is wrong with being gay? This is me! You can’t and will never be able to straighten me,” Terushima doesn’t even know where he was getting all the courage to speak up for himself. He couldn’t comprehend why, why was this happening when his parents were nothing but supportive to him all his life. It’s just gender, what was so wrong about being different from others?

“Your language, Yuu—“

“No, you don’t get to tell me things about my language when you can’t even accept your son,” he stood up from his seat and faced his father, their faces now leveled as they look at each other’s eyes intensely. His eyes were burning as well as his father’s.

“You’re going to that therapy. End of discussion,” His father said, condescending but Terushima didn’t grow up to be a coward, just like what his father taught him. So, he propped his chin up more and tried to steady his breath.

“No. You can go to that therapy shit if you want since you’re the one who’s really adamant about it,” Terushima tried to walk out but before he could leave the dining room, his father grabbed his wrist tightly. He turned his head and looked at his father with a deadly glare. “Let go,

“You’ll be straight aga—“

“I am fucking gay,” He spat out and he could almost feel his whole body shaking because of mixed emotions. “Now, let go,” He forcefully removed the grasp on his wrist and walked away.

He stormed into his room but wasn’t able to close the door because it was pushed open by his deranged father who walked after him. His mother was behind the door, watching the two men in the room almost throw punches at each other. She was crying and Terushima wanted to cry too. He wanted to cry and let out all the frustration that this night was giving him. It was supposed to be a good night with his boyfriend, Futakuchi, but somehow it turned out to his parents not accepting him just because he’s gay.

“What the fuck?” Terushima shrieked when his father grabbed him by his wrist again, now with much force than earlier. He was dragging him down the stairs and his mother was just crying behind them. Terushima didn’t even know if she was crying because her husband and son are fighting or because her son is a homosexual.

“We’re going to the church, you’re going to confess everything and repent because no—“

“No!” Terushima shouted while shaking his head furiously. There’s no way that he’s going into a church right now. “You’re horrible!”

“And you’re a sinner!” His father shouted and the ugly acid on the pit of his stomach started bubbling. It was going up to his throat so fast that Terushima felt like he’s about to erupt.

“Your minds are so shallow. I’m pitying you,” The slap that was sent to his right cheek caused him to hear a certain eerie ringing in his ear. It was so hard that he felt like there’ll be an imprint of his father’s palm until the next day.

Terushima’s hands flew to his cheek to cup it right after he opened his eyes. He was sweating real hard, a few strands of his hair sticking to his forehead. He gave his cheek a few more soft rubs to reassure himself that it wasn’t real. That’s he’s far away from them now and he’s safe in his room.

When he was fully convinced that it was all a dream, Terushima tried to stand and went to the bathroom. He splashed water to his face and once again, felt thankful that his old self chose to use paper instead of scissors when the four of them were choosing the two people who would have the two rooms with their own bathroom.

“So much hate,” Terushima mumbled as he dried his face with a towel. He was more than annoyed to dream of that again. It’s been years for fucks sake and yet everything that happened that night still felt so vivid and if he’s going to close his eyes and stay quiet, it would actually feel like it's happening again in front of him.

He’d see his 18-year-old self getting dragged out of their house and into the car, his parents saying things about how wrong it is. He’d see himself stepping on his father’s foot real hard after he slapped him again on the street and ran so fast than he ever did in his life.

He could still feel the sting of the aftermath of the slaps on his cheek. It was as if the pain was everlasting and permanent. Terushima couldn’t even stomach thinking about his parents, and so, he started to hum a happy song to distract himself. There’s still his work, the second thing that he abhors in his life, of course, his parents are the champions.

After recollecting himself for the third time after waking up, he decided to take a bath and get ready for work. It was quick and cold, and Terushima didn’t stop humming or singing. It has always been one of his problems. He should always have something to do, something that could distract his mind from thinking about his parents, the people that were once his family. But now, they’re just a big part of the ugly fragments of his past.

Once finished, Terushima grabbed his light gray button-down shirt from his wardrobe. It was the last one among all his work clothes and the other ones are all in his laundry. He rolled his eyes while planning to do his laundry later after he got home. He didn’t have a lot of work clothes, actually. He just has five slacks and five shirts and this is all because he hated the job that he didn’t want to put much money into it when he’s the one who should be earning.

He closed the lights in his room before leaving with his work bag on his shoulder. The smell of breakfast wafted in the air and this pushed him to go down the stairs energetically. He placed his bag on the couch and ran to the kitchen where Akaashi was cooking.

“Morning, Teru,” Akaashi greeted when Terushima slipped his hand around Akaashi’s waist before propping his chin on him. “Ready for your lovely work?” Akaashi asked with a playful grin, making the blonde roll his eyes at him.

“Shut up, Keiji,” Everyone in the house knows how much he hates his job. Becoming a stripper would be much better than almost sticking his eyes on his computer all day. But things weren’t that easy and his father’s words are still playing in his ears nonstop.

_“You’ll just die in hunger,”_

It was the last words that his father said to him through call after running away from home. It slashed a deep wound somewhere in his soul and it made him cry for hours. But Terushima has pride and the urge to let his parents realize that he’ll be successful even if he left them grew more.

Running away twisted his life more than he expected. He ended up in Tokyo when all his life he thought that he’ll stay in Miyagi. He even applied for college and got in easier than expected when going to college wasn’t even in his future plans. He graduated from college with a Bachelor’s in Accounting when he thought that he’ll be painting all his life.

“Good morning!” Yamaguchi said as soon as he came down the stairs with Tsukishima behind him.

“It’s literally,” Tsukishima looked at his wristwatch, “Six and you two are flirting,”

“You’re just jealous,” Terushima stuck his tongue out and hugged Akaashi tighter as he gently stirs the eggs in the pan.

“Am not. Oh, I know someone who’ll get jealous,” Both Terushima and Akaashi looked at the tall snarky blonde. “Bokuto-san—”

“Okay, Yuuji, stop hugging me and bring this to the table,” Akaashi said and walked towards the counter to get the bowls of rice and gave it to Terushima. He heard Tsukishima chuckle as well as Yamaguchi.

“The betrayal,” Terushima huffed but still helped in arranging the table for their breakfast. Yamaguchi helped too and within a minute, the four of them were seated in their usual seats, Akaashi and Terushima both seating on the left side and Yamaguchi and Tsukishima in front of them.

Their breakfast was loud, thanks to Terushima’s efforts which Tsukishima seemed to hate more than anything else. Terushima already accepted the role of being the star of the house (he refuses to be called the clown of the house) since day one. It was great, really, he doesn’t remember his parents as much as he did in the past because now, he’s just being loud and merry. Probably too much sometimes because he could feel his mouth and jaw aching because of smiling at the end of the day.

Before going out of the house, Yamaguchi told him to remove his excessive piercings first. He quickly did so and thanked Yamaguchi three times. It would’ve been a huge problem if he came into work with his sparkly earrings. It’s the reason why he’s been shouted at by one of his senior accountants for three times now and the one who made sure that he’ll get fired if he’ll see it once again.

Mean, but okay.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi used the tall blonde’s car to go to University while Terushima and Akaashi rode the train but got off at different stations. The walk from the station to the building where he’s working was still a bit lengthy but Terushima could use it to get all Vitamin D from the sun for more energy and patience for his work.

Upon arriving at his respective floor, Terushima tried to straighten his posture as much as he can and smile and greet everyone to mask his hatred. He sat at his cubicle and turned on his computer. The numerous folders on the desktop welcomed him and he couldn’t choose whether his great math skill is a blessing or a curse. He has always been great with numbers that’s why he’s here. Well, maybe a little bit of both, because he’s been proving himself to his parents yet he’s slowly drowning in numbers.

“Hello, Terushima-kun,” Misaki approached the cubicle that quickly made him look at her.

“Good morning, Misaki-san,” He said with a very energetic voice. Misaki smiled at him and she seemed pleased with how Terushima spreads the energy in the department.

“I hope that your energy never falters, Terushima-kun. We all definitely need that,” She said, already exasperated even though it's just the start of the day. “So, the CFO is asking for the journal entries from last month. Bobata-kun was the one who made the input but I’d be more relieved if you’ll double check it,”

“No problem with that,” _Fuck. I hate numbers._

“Really?” It’s not like I have a choice. Terushima nodded enthusiastically. “Then I’ll just send the supporting documents to you too. Thank you, Terushima-kun, and oh, I need those before lunch,”

Terushima just wanted to be a snowman in the middle of scorching spring, melting, and draining and into the drainage. It’d be fun. A lot more fun than sitting and playing with numbers— or maybe the numbers are the ones playing with him. Terushima couldn’t tell the difference.

He started working as soon as he received Misaki’s email. Bobata just made a few mistakes here and there but it was actually better than his work last two months. He was able to send it to Misaki for her to triple check it again, before working on proofing the scope of an audit report which is supposed to be sent to their newly promoted senior accountant before lunch. His fingers were hovering and typing on the keyboard as fast as it can to get his work done earlier.

He stopped for a minute when his mind felt hazy. His eyes lingered on his desk and saw a few pictures taken from a polaroid. There was one with his housemates, then one with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima’s other friends that eventually became his and Akaashi’s friends too, one with Akiteru that was taken on his graduation— he’s deeply in love with this, and one with Futakuchi. It’s cliché but Terushima always gets the energy and will to continue whenever he’s looking at the picture in front of him. They’re his family now and Terushima couldn’t wish for anything better.

Time flew fast and Terushima couldn’t count the times that he thought of jumping off the building instead of finishing the report that he’s tasked to do. No matter how fast he is in finishing his paper works, his tasks just somehow pile up even more. This job is going to _end_ him.

Terushima looked at his calendar to check the deadline of the report that he’s working on when his whole body felt numb. The date today is undeniably familiar. It’s his mother’s birthday. No matter how much he hates them, there’s still this small place in his heart that pushes him to call and greet them whenever it's their birthday. Terushima knows that it’ll always end up bad but maybe there’s a part of him that still hopes that they’ll be alright. That they would accept him one day.

It was almost lunch when Terushima couldn’t stop the itching of his hands. He grabbed his phone and pressed his mother’s number on his contacts. It’s still labeled as Mom and Terushima’s still sure that it’s still her number. It has always been her number and this just makes his hopes higher because it felt as though she never changes it for Terushima to call her anytime he wants.

He went to the comfort room and pushed each door of the cubicles to make sure that he’s the only one inside. He stared at his phone first before pressing the call button. Terushima sat on the counter and was tapping his leg as he waits for the call to be answered.

“Hello?” His Mom said and Terushima felt himself crying already.

“Hello, Mom,” There was a beat of silence and Terushima forced out a chuckle. “I just wanted to say happy birthday,”

“Well, thank you, Yuuji. Are you doing alright?” Terushima’s heart started to pound loudly. His mother is asking things about him. _Maybe, oh my god,_ Terushima hopes.

“Y-yes, of course, I’m okay. I’m still at work. Just about to grab some lunch. How about you and... Dad?”

“We’re also okay in here,” Terushima started to pace around the comfort room. Is everything okay now? It’s the first time that his mother asked him how is he and Terushima couldn’t stop himself from thinking that things were getting better. Terushima inhaled a large amount of air to ready himself from asking her.

“Can I— can I go there and visit you two?” Terushima was smiling so wide that it almost hurt but shit, he’s been dreaming about this day for years now. That they’ll finally accept him for who he is.

“You can,” Terushima almost jumped in happiness. Tears started to form in his eyes and his heart was beating so fast. “And we’ll be more than happy if you’ll bring your girlfriend too,”

_Oh._

Terushima halted from everything that he’s currently doing. He stopped hearing his mother’s voice from the other line. It just sounded like their annoying broken television back in Miyagi. His eyes were unfocused and everything was just blurry.

Of course, they’re still not okay. Just like the last four years. He’s still not welcome to them and will probably never be. Terushima’s heart ached, so much that he’s already feeling it physically. Before he cried, Terushima tried to compose himself and talk.

“I don’t have a girlfriend and I don’t think that I’ll be visiting you any soon,” He quickly ended the call and collapsed on the floor. He hugged his knees and cried his heart out. Nothing changed. It’s still the same and his parents are still homophobic. His lips were quivering and god, he’s just so sad.

He tried to wipe the tears away but more kept on falling. The wrist part of his sleeves was already wet because of the tears. His shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. He couldn’t even pinpoint what was he feeling. Sure, he’s sad and disappointed once again, maybe he’s even mad. He just felt shallow just like what he always feels every time he calls them. The acceptance was still nowhere near and it just hurts him so much.

After roughly five minutes of just slumping on the floor like a kid who didn’t get his candy, but in his case, he didn’t get his parent’s approval, Terushima decided that it was enough. He stood up and washed his face. The sun of the department needs to go out and spread his sunshine. There’s no time for him to cry for so long, and it would be embarrassing if someone would walk into him crying.

When he was sure that he looks normal, face void of minutes of crying, he went out of the comfort room and returned to his cubicle and sat abruptly. He was feeling grumpy, and he doesn’t feel sorry about it, and it was a good thing that there are just two other people in their department and they’re sitting far from him.

Suddenly, he was feeling too tired to continue his life but feels like he’s also tired of thinking that he’s tired because it’s always like this whenever he finishes calling his parents. It’s always full of resentment and regrets why did he even bother calling when he already knows what’s about to happen.

His hands were on fire, fast and a little too hard on pressing the little caps on the keyboard. Terushima wanted to smash his head on the monitor all throughout the making of his report and he’s really, really close to doing it so.

“Terushima-san!” An annoying voice called out to him and there, he saw Futakuchi leaning on the wall behind him with a grin on his face. Terushima whipped his head back to the computer after rolling his eyes at him. “Are you ignoring me now, Terushima-san?”

“Call me that again and I’ll slit your throat,” Terushima said but Futakuchi just sat at the unoccupied seat beside him. It’s weird hearing Futakuchi not calling him by his first name like what he always does in the past years.

“God, Yuuji, you’re so aggressive. How did you gain the title of becoming the sun of your department?”

“Because everyone loves me. Well, almost, and can you please, shut the fuck up? I’m trying to finish this fucking report,” His fingers were working faster now than it ever did. His fingertips were somehow aching but Terushima shouldn’t stop now. There’s still too much work on his desk.

“Come on, it’s lunch already. Let’s eat, Yuuji. I’ll buy you popsicles,” Terushima’s eyebrows shot up at the effort. It’s not everyday Futakuchi buys something for him but it made him suspicious.

“Why?”

“Uh,” Futakuchi scratched the back of his head as he looked at Terushima who has his eyebrows up, looking like he’s questioning his whole existence. “Because it’s your mother’s birthday?” Terushima had gone silent. Of course, Futakuchi would remember, because every time, twice a year, every birthday of his Mom and Dad, Terushima would cry like a bitch in a bathroom after calling them.

“Two,” He said while already saving his files and putting his computer on sleep mode first.

“Anything for you, Terushima-san,” Terushima glared at him before they went out of the building. The sun was at its peak and afternoons felt sunnier than ever.

They realized that they only have twenty nine minutes left for lunch and Terushima just pushed Futakuchi straight into a convenience store. Futakuchi got a bento while the blonde grabbed five popsicles. Futakuchi complained loudly, hogging all the attention in the small store but Terushima acted like he never heard anything and just shoved everything on the counter while smiling at the cashier. Futakuchi said that hated him with all of his heart and Terushima said the same thing but with a sweet smile.

Both of the men sat at the small chairs inside the store and ate their lunch. If Terushima was good at annoying people, Futakuchi was undeniably better. Terushima almost stabbed him in the eye with a popsicle stick twice because god, Futakuchi was sent from _hell_. Terushima couldn’t even see now why did he ever date him. Well, he does see it until now, especially now that he’s clearly trying to cheer Terushima up.

Futakuchi was one of the constants in his life and Terushima just couldn’t think of what could’ve happened to him if it wasn’t for Futakuchi. He was his first boyfriend, the first person that he loved romantically, and the person who he was cuddling with when his parents came into his room and the chaos in his life started. When he ran from his parents that night, Terushima’s feet brought him to Futakuchi’s house and he hugged him tight and gently ran his hands on his back to calm him down.

Terushima told him that he doesn’t have any plan but Futakuchi helped him. He asked him to live with him in a tiny apartment in Tokyo for college. Terushima, who was more than determined to prove himself, agreed in a snap. First year into college was bliss, and just full of them annoying each other everyday until things just fell apart. Neither knows why, but maybe they just fell out of love. They ended it in a good way but things still felt awkward.

_Of course, it's awkward. I’m still under the same roof as my ex’s._

Terushima had a hard time finding another job besides from being a busboy again on another izakaya to shoulder the expenses that he’ll have once he found his own apartment to rent to. But like an angel, Tsukishima asked him if he’d like to be his housemate with two other guys, for free. Terushima didn’t even think twice and said yes thousands of times.

The very next day, Terushima told this to Futakuchi, and to his surprise, they were communicating just fine. Being exes didn’t hinder them from becoming friends and Terushima knew to himself that Futakuchi is one of the gems in his life that he’ll never give to anyone. Too precious and too vexatious altogether. They even ended up getting accepted in the same work after being in the same course and classes in college. Terushima always says how sick he already is with Futakuchi’s face but he actually doesn’t know what to feel if he’s far away from him.

“I mean, I feel like they shouldn’t have done that, you know?”

“Yeah, because sleeping on working hours is supposed to be tolerated,” He said sarcastically then bites down the last of his fourth popsicle, blueberry flavored.

“What can I do? I _love_ my job,” Futakuchi said after swallowing the last spoonful of his teriyaki and rice. “Do you love your job, Terushima-san?”

“No, I don’t. I hate it. I just want to be a stripper,” Terushima said then slumped his arms on the small table.

“Same,”

Terushima looked up at him, quite puzzled. “Same to I hate it or to the stripper career?”

“To both,” Futakuchi said and Terushima opened his last popsicle, now chocolate flavored. He placed it first in front of Futakuchi’s mouth which the latter bit as soon as he can.

“It’ll be good if we’ll become a stripper, I mean, we’re just almost a year to our jobs. It's not too late,”

“You think that we’ll make more money?”

“We’ll be showered with money,” Terushima said excitedly, already liking the idea.

“But we don’t know how to do pole dancing,” Futakuchi said that shattered Terushima’s daydreaming of being under the thick pile of money. “But we can search how to. Come on, Yuuji, open your phone,” Terushima quickly opened his phone and was about to press the YouTube button when he pressed the camera app first.

“Wait,” He said to Futakuchi then tried to find a good angle where his face looks the best and captured a photo of him doing a v sign with a big smile.

_**To: D Tsukishima that I luv** _

_**12:46 pm** _

_**|| image attached ||** I just finished lunch! Have you eaten yet?_

He sent the message quickly before continuing their agenda and went to YouTube to search for tutorials on how to do pole dancing, both feeling helpless.

The notification of a new message was shown on the screen and Terushima quickly pressed it. Heart getting giddy that Akiteru replied faster than he expected.

**_From: D Tsukishima that I luv_ **

**_12:49 pm_ **

_Just about to grab one but did u cried?_

Terushima almost cried. Akiteru noticed! He grabbed Futakuchi’s phone and flipped it to use its mirror-like case to check if he looked ugly even if he felt okay with what he looks like in the picture that he just sent. This is a nightmare. Akiteru wouldn’t like him at all now. It was such a bad move to even send a picture. It could’ve been better if he just texted him.

_**To: D Tsukishima that I luv** _

_**12:50 pm** _

_Did I really look ugly that you saw the aftermath?_

“Yuuji, let’s go back, lunch is almost over,” Futakuchi said while standing up. Terushima was too worried to even nod but he still stood up anyways, eyes still glued on his phone, waiting for Akiteru’s reply. His heart almost leaped at the new notification.

**_From: D Tsukishima that I luv_ **

**_12:51 pm_ **

_No, u don’t. I just knda know how u look like after crying._

_Are u okay tho?_

_I’m always willing to listen if u have prblems_

Three consecutive messages. Akiteru just said that he didn’t look ugly. He asked if he’s okay and he’s willing to listen to him.

Terushima was suddenly floating and almost skipping on his steps as they both go back to their work. His eyes were still fixated on his phone, savoring the messages from the person that he’s been crazy about for years now. Not really as sweet as Terushima likes but they’re getting there.

Oh, what an afternoon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a flashback to when Terushima felt things for Akiteru (⁀ᗢ⁀)

Terushima was humming along with the music invading his ears through his earphones as he walks on the streets. Summer just came and Terushima intends to enjoy it as much as he can before his second year in college starts. He’s already planning hundreds of things to do now that he’s about to live with his friends.

Living with Futakuchi for a year has been great until it lasted but now, Terushima was ready to live with three other people. It’ll be a blast and Terushima couldn’t wait. Although, he’s quite expecting that they might be a little awkward at first, nonetheless, Terushima has high hopes.

He pressed the doorbell and waited for a minute before pressing it once again when no one came. After a few more press on the small button, the gate was opened by Tsukishima’s older brother, at least that’s what Terushima thinks. Terushima smiled at him and the older man did the same too before opening the gate widely so Terushima could go in.

“Are you Akaashi-kun?” He asked as Terushima removes his shoes. Instead of answering politely like a normal being, Terushima let out a candid laugh as soon as he heard the question.

“No, no, my name’s Terushima,” He said before reaching out his hand for a handshake. Terushima wanted the handshake as friendly as possible but it ended up feeling too formal. It was his first time meeting Tsukishima’s brother, after all. He only heard him from Yamaguchi’s stories and Tsukishima doesn’t really talk about him.

“I’m Tsukishima— wait, no, I mean, yes, I am but since you’re Kei’s friends, it might be confusing,” The man rambled and Terushima somehow found it entertaining. “Just call me Akiteru,” He let out an awkward chuckle and his fingers quickly flew to his nape while smiling awkwardly.

“Well, hi then, Akiteru-san,” Terushima said before Akiteru pushed the door to let him in. The interior of the Tsukishima’s household never fails to amaze Terushima, even now at his third time. He couldn’t see any people though and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are nowhere to be found.

“Kei and Tadashi are out buying some snacks,” Terushima wanted to curse, really. He didn’t want to be stuck in his friend’s house with his older brother that he just met. He didn’t want to be alone with him. It’ll be so awkward and Terushima could already hear their near future selves talking about the weather. “Do you want something to drink, or…?”

“No, I’m fine,” Terushima smiled and sat down at the couch when Akiteru gestured him to.

_ I just want to see my friends, please. _

“So, you’ll be living with Kei,” Akiteru started, conversationally but still awkward as shit. Terushima splayed his palms at his denim pants before answering.

“I think so,” another awkward chuckle. “I’m actually excited,” He said energetically, hoping that at least it’ll make the atmosphere around them better but his smile faltered when Akiteru has his lips pressed into a thin line.

“To tell you the truth, I’m quite nervous. It’s Kei’s first time to live without us, you know? And in Tokyo? Yeah, definitely nerve-racking,” Akiteru looked at him with a serious face but he somehow managed to let a small smile appear on his lips. He actually looked constipated but Terushima fought his laugh that was about to burst. “I hope that you’ll take care of him, and Tadashi too. I know that he’s not the kindest person out there but please do me a favor?”

Terushima wasn’t able to answer at first. He was too busy thinking if whether his parents’ felt the same thing when he ran away. We’re they even nervous? What if they actually tried to find him out in Tokyo but they just failed to see their only son? Terushima’s mind was full of what-ifs but he tried his best to push out all those thoughts because there’s someone in front of him who looked like he’ll die if Terushima would not answer him.

“Leave it to me, Akiteru-san,” He said with the most convincing tone. “I’ve gotten ahold of Tsukki’s attitude so it’s not going to be that hard,” Terushima grinned at him, and as if on cue, the front door opened, revealing his future housemates.

“Terushima-san!” Yamaguchi said and almost flew towards him to hug him. Terushima wanted to sigh a relief, now that his friends are here, but he realized that being along with Akiteru didn’t really take a toll on him, he just smiled widely at Yamaguchi. “You’re here already!”

“No, Yamaguchi, you’re mistaken, that’s actually Mom, not—”

“Shut up, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi spatted and placed the paper bags on the coffee table. It was full of snacks just like what he assumed. His eyes saw Akaashi who was standing behind Tsukishima and was now talking to Akiteru. It was his first time to see Akaashi in the flesh and god, Terushima just couldn’t comprehend how beautiful he is.

“Terushima-san, this is Akaashi-san, and Akaashi-san, this is Terushima-san,” Tsukishima said and Terushima quickly bowed at Akaashi. He knew that they’re of the same age but Akaashi looked timid and calm, the complete opposite of Terushima.

“I’m looking forward to living with you,” Terushima said and bowed again until he realized how his words sounded like. “I—I mean, w-wait— live with you three, not just you, Akaashi-kun. I—” He could feel the embarrassment eat him wholly but then everyone laughed, except Tsukishima.

“It’s okay, Terushima-kun,” Akaashi said and Terushima became calm. They all moved on from his stuttering and Akaashi and Terushima started to talk to each other while Yamaguchi and Tsukishima readied the snacks that they brought. Akiteru helped them too but gave a quick grin to Terushima, probably because of his stuttering earlier. Terushima rolled his eyes at him and focused on Akaashi once again.

Akaashi was a lot better than he expected, they got along in a second and Terushima was really happy when Akaashi started to tell things about himself. Akaashi shared about his boyfriend of two years while Terushima vaguely said about Futakuchi. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima went back to the living room with chips and chocolates and sat beside them.

They learned that it was Akiteru who actually wanted them to go to their house to meet his brother’s housemates. They teased Akiteru as soon as Tsukishima said this, draining all of Akiteru’s blood on his face because he turned pale and embarrassed would be an understatement. He tried to defend himself that he just wanted to make sure that Kei is safe but he just got teased more.

It felt awkward at first but just minutes after, it felt like they were just hanging out naturally. Terushima found it exhilarating especially when they started to do two truths and one lie, making them spill a lot of things in their life. He felt closer to them and Terushima was really happy that he persevered talking to Tsukishima even though he pushed him many times before because if it's not for his perseverance, he might’ve never met the people that were currently making him laugh uncontrollably now.

Tsukishima’s mother, Asami, arrived with a few bags, clearly from the grocery store. She hugged them affectionately and proceeded to the kitchen to bake without any preamble. Akiteru helped her but then returned once again when Asami pushed him back like a kid, saying that he needs to face their visitors since he’s the one who’s adamant to see them. Terushima seemed like the only person who heard this so as soon as Akiteru came back, he grinned at him.

He wasn’t sure what was the game that they’re playing but Terushima safely bets that they’re counting the embarrassing things that they’ve done and grin at the other. This went on until they all decided to watch a horror movie. Terushima squealed and flinched a few times and every time, he would see Akiteru glance at him with his annoying smile. Terushima just sticks his tongue out at him quickly, not letting other people see what they’re doing.

Halfway through the movie, Tsukishima decided that it was cliché for him and just went to his room to pack the clothes that he hasn’t packed yet. Yamaguchi seemed invested in the movie but still went after Tsukishima to help him. Terushima smiled at this and almost cooed at their friendship.

Akaashi was still sitting on the couch while stuffing his mouth with white chocolate bars, eyes focused on the movie. Both he and Terushima were saying things about the movie from time to time while Akiteru was just silently watching.

“Akaashi-kun? Can you lend me a hand here?” Asami shouted from the kitchen that made Akaashi stand from his seat with a confused face. He went to the kitchen, leaving his chocolate bars and Terushima and Akiteru alone, and the shitty horror movie too.

“Do you suck at baking?” Terushima asked at Akiteru without looking at him. It was dark, with the light turned off and the heavy and thick curtains blocking off the sunlight from outside. The only source of light that they have currently was from the television and the faint light coming from the kitchen.

“I’m better than Kei,” Terushima snorted at the answer but before he could make a response, the protagonist in the movie finally saw the murderer, making Terushima’s breath hitch. His legs jerked when the chasing started and god, Terushima wanted to wring his neck because of how bad he is with horror movies.

When the protagonist was almost in reach of the murderer, Terushima just couldn’t help but curse and shout at the television as the protagonist would somehow hear him and do what he’s saying. Terushima could feel Akiteru suppressing his laughs and he wanted to smack him on the head but the scene in the movie was more than intense and there’s no way that Terushima could do anything other than screaming. He could feel his heartbeat beating faster as seconds pass by and he wasn’t even blinking anymore. Terushima hated how he’s so bad at horror movies but still likes to watch them even though he’s literally embarrassing himself right now with someone that he just met.

The movie ended with the petrifying scene in the last part and Terushima liked it, he liked how the movie kept his butt on the edge of the couch and had him screaming until the end. It wasn’t as cliché as Tsukishima said but he felt quite sad for Akaashi and Yamaguchi since they weren’t able to finish it even though they looked too engrossed with it earlier. Well, he’ll just tell them the ending or they could watch it again when they all finally move in together. Terushima smiles at that thought.

“Then why did she ask for Akaashi, not you?” Terushima said, letting the words fall off of his mouth that was supposed to be said earlier before he screamed like a maniac. Akiteru furrowed his eyebrows at first, trying to recall their conversation a few moments ago.

“I'm sure that Mom’s just finding an excuse to try to know him,” Akiteru said and Terushima remembered that Asami also asked him for help to bake when he first came over to their house. She’s nice and Terushima almost teared up when she called him by his first name. It felt good to have someone calling him like he’s a family of theirs.

“Or maybe, you just suck,” Terushima grinned, teasing Akiteru just because he wanted to. There was a satisfying feeling whenever Akiteru’s eyebrows furrow in time when he’s thinking of another comeback.

“Mabe it’s you who sucks,” Terushima rolled his eyes.

_Well, yeah, I do suck,_ Terushima thinks and almost laughed at his own pervy jokes.

“Oh, is that a tongue piercing?” Akiteru asked excitedly as soon as he saw it when Terushima laughed. “This is weird but can I look at it?” Terushima nodded, people, asking to see his tongue piercing is not new to him. He stuck his tongue out until the tiny stud showed itself. Terushima wanted to laugh when Akiteru looked at it with such wide eyes.

Well, it’s not every day that a person can see someone who has a tongue piercing. It started out as a dare between his friends when they were second years in high school but then Terushima was a man of his words and pushed through the glass doors of a popular shop to get his piercing done. It hurt like a bitch and it took him a month before he completely got used to it. Terushima could still remember the satisfaction when the people around him started to notice him more. He liked the attention and it somehow works great for conversation starters when he’s meeting new people.

“Why’d you get that?” Akiteru asked and it was the same question that Terushima has heard from approximately thirty people now.

“It was a dare for me back then in high school,” Terushima smirked, “but now it’s for the guys and their attention,” He winked and didn’t miss the shock in Akiteru’s eyes. The older man scrambled in his seat and chuckled awkwardly. Terushima retreated his tongue back, trying to think of another topic because Akiteru looked pretty taken aback. He didn’t mean to do that but his usual perky self just comes to the surface and the next thing that Terushima knows is that the person in front of him is weirded out by him.

“I do have other piercings though!” He said excitedly and moves so his side is facing Akiteru. His ears are now peppered with four more piercings that he acquired all throughout his first year in college. He touches his left ear to feel the precious earrings that he loves. “Wait—“

“Why, is something wrong—“

“Wait, wait, where’s my other earring?” Terushima said, his heart started to hammer in his chest. His earring was missing, the diamond one, the one that his grandmother gave him. He’s been wearing it for almost three years now and that earring was just as important as his friends to him.

“Uhm, okay, it should just be here. We can find it,” Akiteru said and both of them stood up. They searched the sides of the couch and even under it. “Hey, don’t worry, we’ll find it,”

Terushima smiled at him, still clutching the piercing where his favorite earring should be sitting. “Y-yeah,” His smile faltered as soon as Akiteru removed his eyes from him and continues searching. His hands suddenly couldn’t move. The thought of losing that earring was enough to make him feel depressed in an instant. His grandmother gave the earrings to him and his Mom, both having one piece. She couldn’t really use it since the other one is in Terushima’s hands but he knows that she’s still taking care of it even with what happened. If he loses that, then it would feel like he just lost the only thing that connects him to his mother

And Terushima doesn’t want that.

“Come on, don’t get sad,” He heard Akiteru said and suddenly, Terushima nodded, putting up a smile. Instead of looking reassured with his response, Akiteru frowned. He moved closer to him and ruffled his newly dyed hair. “Stop crying,”

Terushima’s eyes have always been honest. No matter what’s he’s feeling, it just shows in his eyes. Futakuchi pointed this out one time when they’re about to go to sleep. He said that even if Terushima tries to smile widely to mask his sadness, his eyes would start to water. Even if he’s acting cocky and brave when watching something scary, his eyes would look frightened the whole time. If he’s happy then his eyes would seem sparkling and he’s be winking q little more often than usual after saying something nonsense, and it would always be followed with a hearty laugh.

“I— I’m not,” Terushima tried but he knew that no one would even believe him. Akiteru didn’t really seem to believe it, but he just went back to find it, now looking under the coffee table.

“If it’s that important to you, then just believe that it’ll come back to you. Don’t lose hope on that one now. I’ll find it, just— just don’t cry,” It might’ve been awkward to see someone who acted really happy earlier crying now like a helpless child. Humiliating, but Terushima couldn’t grasp himself completely at the moment. But Akiteru told him to believe and so, Terushima did. He stood there beside the television, watching Akiteru as he tries to find his precious earring. He hated how it still feels important to him even if he’s not on good terms with his family. He hated how— “Is this it?”

“Yes! Shit— I—“ Terushima choked on his tears and grabbed the earring from Akiteru’s hands. Relief washed over him, and Terushima couldn’t explain how happy he is. “Thank you, Akiteru-san,“

“It’s fine, Teru, there’s no need to thank me,” Terushima felt himself freeze at the sudden nickname. Where the fuck did that came from? Akiteru stepped closer to him and touched his hair, only to ruin his already messy disheveled blonde locks. “What’s important is that you’ve stopped crying now,”

_Holy fuck._

Suddenly, Terushima couldn’t just smile. His lips were pressed, sealed because of the weird bubbly feeling in his stomach. Terushima wasn’t able to respond to the older man. It was just a small gesture, and Terushima’s hair had been ruffled by many people in the past but his energy felt like rising so hard that he felt like bursting. Akiteru was smiling sweetly, probably feeling better now that Terushima has stopped crying but why was his smile leads Terushima somewhere else? And were his cheeks burning? Heck, yeah.

“We’re back!” Yamaguchi shouted from the stairs, really comfortable even though he’s not in his own home. This made Terushima wear his once lost earring in a hurry and multitasking in making his self calm down from Akiteru when he felt someone’s fingers softly but hurriedly swiping across his damp cheek.

_Oh, my fucking—_

Terushima didn’t know whether to believe his eyes but the faint body heat coming from Akiteru’s fingers on his cheeks was one thing to prove that it was really happening. He was wiping Terushima’s tears and maybe it’s enough to make the younger man combust and dissolve right on the tiles.

“Hi!” Yamaguchi greeted when they reached the living room where Akiteru and Terushima were awkwardly standing in front of each other. “Did you guys finish the movie— oh, where’s Akaashi-san?”

“He’s in the kitchen with auntie and yes! The movie was great!” Terushima said enthusiastically, trying to bring back his energetic and carefree self.

“Great, my ass, and did you cry?” Tsukishima asked and it made Terushima’s brain think of an excuse and made sure that it’s not a lame one because it’s Tsukishima and that kid is just smart.

“No, he did not,” Akiteru interrupted and when his younger brother was about to say something, he went to the two childhood best friends and pushed them towards the kitchen. 

“Come on, the cookies might be ready now,” Before Akiteru got out of Terushima’s sight, he looked at him and smiled. Terushima wanted to rip that annoying smile on his face moments ago, but now, all he felt were butterflies.

_Shit, that’s so.. childlike— butterflies, Yuuji? Really?_

—

They successfully moved to Tsukishima’s house in Tokyo in the middle of summer. Their first day was a mess, Terushima dropped a very important box where the glass was lying. Everything was broken, of course, and he was ready to pay for everything but Yamaguchi just laughed at him along with Tsukishima who recorded what happened on his camera. Akaashi looked stressed at first but then he just laughed it off and said that they’ll need to go shopping after all. And so, they did and Terushima met more of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima’s friends when they met in the mall.

Terushima felt more comfortable with Akaashi when he suddenly slipped out Terushima’s given name. And this sparked the new chapter of the lives where everyone freely called each other by their given names. It took Tsukishima longer but seeing him smile more often was already great.

On some days, they go to Miyagi to visit Asami, and unconsciously, Terushima has his fingers crossed, hoping that Akiteru was home. He’s in his work sometimes but most of the time, he’s home and Terushima could feel his insides flipping.

He found himself sitting at the place nearer to Akiteru and when the gods are on his side, he gets to sit exactly beside him. Their visits to Miyagi felt awfully similar to any of their visits with Asami asking for Akaashi’s help because he’s good in the kitchen, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi talking about dinosaurs, clearly having a great time while talking about humungous and scary creatures. And yes, that leaves him and Akiteru just talking.

Random thoughts were voiced out and Terushima felt really happy when Akiteru looked interested when he started to marvel about the quokkas and how cute they are. Akiteru wasn’t aware of the certain animal at first and Terushima grabbed this chance to move closer to him to show pictures on his phone.

“Oh, you’re right, they’re cute,” Akiteru said that made Terushima more excited than ever. He almost jumped in his seat when he saw the picture of a man taking a selfie with a quokka.

“Look! And they’re so friendly! I just want to steal one from Australia,” Terushima huffed but still continued to tell more facts about his current favorite animal. Akiteru just listens to him and smiles when Terushima says something absurd. He shyly shared a picture of his favorite animal too which was a red panda. Terushima couldn’t help but awe at the pictures, and in the back of his head, at the person who’s showing him the pictures too.

Whenever they see each other, they would just talk about things that were not really important in their lives, all for the pleasure of their entertainment. Not that Terushima complains because he doesn’t want to do anything than to absorb and stare at Akiteru.

When University started once again, his chances of seeing Akiteru was cut down into smaller chances, but it was okay because even if he can’t see him, he could still know a lot of things from him. It’s good to have his younger brother as a housemate, really. But not really helpful because Tsukishima just frowns at him and Yamaguchi ends up answering him with the bits of information that he knows.

Akiteru’s not that good with drawings, but he has good eyes for colors that would look well. His favorite color is sage and Terushima found himself staring at his sage-colored vase in his room more often. Oh, and Akiteru played volleyball too from middle school until college. And Terushima loves volleyball too! _Another thing in common_. Terushima smiles.

He intends to know just small information about Akiteru from other people because he figured that it’s bringing him more happiness when it comes to Akiteru himself. Futakuchi even said that he was too elated as he tells him about Akiteru but he just shrugs and tells him that Akiteru is currently working in a manga publishing company.

One time, when the four of them were eating dinner that was made by Akaashi on a Saturday night, Terushima was asking whether Akiteru likes sushi because he plans to bring some tomorrow when they’re about to go to Miyagi.

“What kind of a Japanese person are you if you don’t want sushi?” Tsukishima said that made the others nod. Terushima just clicked his tongue and stuffed his mouth with his food.

“Why’re you asking that though, Yuuji?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Well,” Because he wanted to give him something that he likes.

_But really, why, Yuuji?_

“Just because,” He said with a small voice but he knew that somewhere in himself knows the answer already. He’s just not ready to admit it to himself thoroughly.

_It’s already been a year since Futakuchi and I broke up, maybe it’s alright?_

_But you need to focus first on your studies. It’s more important than most of the things that you’re thinking right now._

_But I’ve been so stressed lately and Akiteru’s doing a good job to make me smile._

_But—_

_Shut the fuck up, other me, I’ll smash your head. Let me be happy._

Maybe there was no point in fighting with himself at this point because Terushima knew that he couldn’t fight his attraction to Akiteru now. So, Terushima puts his chopsticks down and looks at his friends.

“I think I like Akiteru,”

“No -san, I see,” Tsukishima snickered.

“We’re friends, and he called me Teru the first day that we met,” Terushima defended but still blushed upon remembering the nickname that was addressed to him.

“Oh my god, you’re blushing!” Yamaguchi said then started to slap him on his arm.

“Congratulations, Yuuji, you’re the last one to know!” Akaashi said with a wide smile but it just made Terushima horrified.

“Wait, what?”

“You’ve been stealing glances, sitting closer, talking even more, hmm.. what else? Oh, you’ve been asking things about him endlessly. Everyone probably knows that you like him,”

“What the fuck?” Tersuhima’s mouth was agape and shit the embarrassment that he’s feeling was too much. Was he that obvious?

“Babe—” Akaashi said then stopped to hush the two younger men to stop giggling first at Terushima’s shocked face. “You’ve been obvious all this time, why don’t you just continue it?” Akaashi said while stifling a laugh.

“Akaashi’s right!” Yamaguchi said happily.

“I agree,” Tsukishima said while nodding continuously, obviously not hiding the fact that he’s on the verge of laughing.

Would that work? Becoming more obvious? Vocal about what he feels? Is that the best way to let him convey his feelings to Akiteru? Oh. Yeah. Maybe.

_I mean, I’m Terushima Yuuji, I don’t get shy that easy. Well, I think.. but if it’s for Akiteru then I could be more evident than usual.. well... I— fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! If you're here, then thank you for reading but please, please, always stay safe :< I love u all and I hope that u guys are enjoying this so far! <3


	3. Chapter 3

It was freezing, really, even though the sun is already up and his blankets are covering him fully. He was frozen in his bed for almost an hour, just staring at the falling snow from outside. The neighbor’s Christmas lights were still turned on, just twinkling and giving off that Christmas spirit.

“Right, it’s Christmas today,” Terushima said, his voice groggy from speaking for the first time of the day. The enormous Christmas tree that the four of them designed a week ago that is currently sitting in the living room, the snow, the Christmas lights around Tokyo, the very Christmassy videos on the internet, and the fact that he’s all alone now in the house because his housemates are in their own homes, spending the holidays with their family, makes him remember that it is indeed, Christmas.

A lonely one, at least.

He couldn’t bring himself to message his family a greeting when it feels like they don’t want to talk to him either. It was tough but this is already Terushima’s third Christmas away from home. His first was spent with Futakuchi and his family while his second and third were spent all alone. It’s fine, Terushima’s just not accustomed to this yet but he’ll be fine. Yes, he’ll be fine.

After showering, Terushima plopped himself on the couch, listing the things that he could do that would at least bring joy to his dull Christmas. All of his university works that were supposed to be passed next year were already done on his laptop and now, Terushima doesn’t have anything better to do. The movies would just make him sad and there are no fun games that he could do because he’s just all alone.

“What’re you looking at?” He sneered at the small deer figurine beside the Christmas tree who looked like it was looking at him. Terushima rolled his eyes and stood up, grabbed the other figurine beside his newfound enemy, and placed it on the other side of the living room. “Now you’re all alone too,” He stuck his tongue out at the deer, truly annoyed.

He ended up cooking some pancakes and designing them with some whipped cream, chocolate chunks, and Christmas-themed sprinkles in an attempt to make a smiley face. “You’re so…” Terushima looked at the pancake who looked like it was murdered instead of smiling. It’s ugly and suddenly, he was feeling the urge to just cry.

Then the doorbell rang and Terushima never looked at the door that fast in his life. His friends told him that they would be back tomorrow, or maybe even the next day and it’s not like Futakuchi even knows his current address. Instead of making his head hurt from listing all the possible people that would be visiting someone in the house on a Christmas morning, Terushima just walked towards the front door, and god, his heart leaped upon seeing the person behind the gate.

“Merry Christmas,” Akiteru said with a smile. Terushima felt like melting in place when he saw Akiteru wearing the earmuffs that he gave last year. The tip of the older man’s nose was pinkish and this made Terushima move to open the gate. “God, it’s freezing,”

_ Fuck, this is so sudden! _

His face was bare as fuck and he doesn’t even have most of his piercings because he was making his ears rest and shit, he’s wearing a silk pajama set designed with Rudolph the red nose reindeer. His hair was down and all he could do at the moment was just brush his hair up to attempt to style it messily. Terushima wasn’t ready at all and Akiteru’s seeing him in his worst state right now and on a Christmas fucking day.

“W-what brings you here, Aki?” Terushima tried to act as normal as possible, putting up the façade of a person who doesn’t seem to be crumbling inside. Akiteru removes his wool overcoat before sitting down on the couch. He looked tired but nonetheless, he was smiling at Terushima.

“I have tons of work to do and I still need to check the manuscripts of the newly signed author in the company so I needed to go back earlier,” Akiteru shared that made Terushima nod. He did get that part but why would he go straight to his younger brother’s house instead of his?

“Well then… why are you here?” Terushima sat at the other side of the couch, suddenly feeling conscious of how he looks. He’s known Akiteru for almost three years now but the guy never saw him unprepared because Terushima was the type of person who does exert efforts when it comes to physical appearance. Akiteru never saw him like this and Terushima just felt like dissolving into the couch, rethinking why didn’t he even styled his hair even just a little.

“Well, Kei told me that I left my scarf here last time. I’m not really supposed to get it like, right now, but Kei told me that you’ll just be here and I should get it anyways,” Terushima needed to bite his lower lip to stop himself from smiling. Since when did Tsuskishima start to support him with his brother?

“Oh, I— I think I saw it too. Let me check,” Terushima stood up and walked towards their random stuff room, finally letting the smile on his lips show. Tsukishima was obviously setting his brother up with him and this was something that Terushima never expected from him. It might not really be the best day since he looked like a dehydrated zombie right now but hey, it’s Akiteru anyways, and Terushima would get any chance to be with him any time.

“Are those sulky pancakes on the counter supposed to be your breakfast?” Terushima could feel his cheeks reddening at the sudden statement, plus the fact that Akiteru’s following him, and because he just saw the ugliest pancake that’s ever been created.

He opened the door and grabbed the vibrant orange colored scarf around the coat hanger and threw it to the guy who was just behind him which he caught with ease. Terushima leaned at the door frame with his hands crossed against his chest, looking directly at Akiteru with tired eyes. He was just thinking of ways to defend the pancakes but then exhaustion washed over him.

“You’re literally the first person that I’ve seen this week and I haven’t been out ever since. My creativeness is slipping away so don’t judge—”

“Wait, you spent your Christmas all holed up in here?” Akiteru asked with his eye widened and this made Terushima nod knowing that there’s nothing wrong with it after all. “You’re really unbelievable, Teru,”

“It’s okay though, I was able to—”

“It’s not okay. It’s Christmas and you’re supposed to enjoy it,” Akiteru grabbed his wrist and Terushima could suddenly feel his heart quickening its beating more than it ever did. “I’m taking you out,”

“Wait, Aki, I—”

“We’re—”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up for a second. Let me finish,” Terushima groaned that made Akiteru look at him apologetically. The foreign feeling of Akiteru’s hand wrapped around his wrist was more than distracting but Terushima tried to collect his thoughts. Today was just supposed to be a normal boring day but now Akiteru’s in front of him, holding his wrist and is looking at him and Terushima couldn’t just keep up with what's happening.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Terushima asked while wiggling his eyebrows. Akiteru sighed and looked at him with bored eyes like he’s fed up with him. Terushima giggled and removed Akiteru’s grip from his wrist only to intertwine their hands. “You like me back now?”

“Terushima, I—”

“Don’t sweat about it, _Akiteru-san_ ,” He said in a sing-song tone, “I’m not rushing you,” Terushima winked at him before letting go of Akiteru’s hands, leaving the older man with that shocked expression that Terushima likes. It was just like one of his usual bold moves, the ones that always leave his housemates amazed and embarrassed at the same time.

Terushima liked it this way though, even if there are still times that he’s also getting flustered with his weird and too blunt love confessions. Doing it for years has honed his skills and pretty much removed all the embarrassment in his system. He’s quite sure that Akiteru’s getting all the signals that he’s been trying to send him. Shameless but Terushima was just built that way.

_Of course, he’d know. I’m literally telling him every minute that I like him._

Terushima tends to talk a lot, and there’s no denying it, but everything’s just about random things. Maybe something about work or movies or maybe funny things that happened between him and his friends, but none of these really lets Terushima talk about what he feels. There’s still this burden in his heart, just staying in there and sometimes shows itself in the night, a complete contrast with how he usually is every afternoon. But all of these were being shoved away whenever Akiteru’s with him. Terushima feels like he doesn’t need to lie, to hide what he feels because _it’s Akiteru_. There’s something about him that just makes Terushima calm, and really honest. He’s a breath of fresh air in Terushima’s suffocating life.

So there’s no stopping, no lying, no masks when Akiteru’s with him because he knew that Akiteru is not just his friend’s older brother, but because he’s his own friend too, a good and understanding one, and the person that he would like to be with every minute.

Terushima showered again and happily wore his new winter clothes. He bought it last week with Akaashi when they went shopping to cheer him up because of the current downslope in his life. Akaashi seemed to look happier that day too and Terushima knew that Akaashi’s smile was worth more than his crying pockets as of now.

He settled with some washed jeans and a white turtleneck topped with a black overcoat as well as his brown boots. Terushima contemplated bringing a scarf with him but then ended up not bringing anything with the hope of Akiteru lending him his own for him later. His heart was literally skipping that it almost felt hard to breathe.

He’s going out with Akiteru. Just the two of them. On a Christmas day. _Holy. Fuck._

His excitement was probably a little too much but Terushima couldn’t care less. It’s his first time to go out only with Akiteru. Their schedules are a mess, Akiteru’s working while Terushima's in his third year in college and is currently having a part-time job too. He’s lucky enough if he’ll see Akiteru thrice a month but it’s not like Akiteru always stays for a whole day in their house. It’s always just a few hours but Terushima tries his best to enjoy the little time that he has with Akiteru.

But now... there’s no doubt that Terushima would not enjoy this day with him. All alone with him.

“I’m ready!” He screamed while going down the stairs. He was all prepped up now, looking like the most pleasing creature that's ever walked on earth. His earrings were all now worn nicely and his outfit was complimenting his thin but chiseled physique. His hair was now slicked back messily and there was the striking smile on his lips.

“You look too happy,” Akiteru said upon seeing him and Terushima nodded in a beat because he really is. “Should we start your Christmas now?”

“I mean, _duh_ , I’m _so_ ready,” Terushima said while stuffing his house keys in his small bag. “Where are you taking me, Aki?” Maybe Terushima was blushing deeply but he couldn’t care anymore and Akiteru probably knows how elated he is right now. The older man might not consider it as a date but for Terushima, it’s almost as if Akiteru’s already proposing. Fuck, his heart just leaped again.

_Calm down, Yuuji._

“Where do you want to go?” Akiteru asked while Terushima was locking the front door, then the gate. He ran his fingers through his hair as he searches his mind for the places that he’d like to go to but he wasn’t ready for this. There was too much on his plate that all he goes to right now were his university, cafés, and if he’s lucky enough to have some time, malls. He didn’t have any time to think of the leisurely time that he could get and now that it's here, Terushima wanted to curse himself. It’s a once in a lifetime moment and now, he’s about to reply nothing but silence. “Hey, Teru?”

_Oh._ Terushima suddenly went back to reality, thankful that Akiteru’s voice grounded him. He looked at him, returning the usual mischievous grin on his face and based on Akiteru’s expression, he already knows what was about to come.

“How does the hotel sound?” He asked that quickly made Akiteru roll his eyes. The older man started to walk away from him but Terushima just laughed loudly, not really caring about the neighbors. He grabbed both Akiteru’s shoulder from behind and slightly shook him. “I’m talking about that hotel’s restaurant close to my part-time job! What were you thinking about, huh?”

“I’m thinking about the same thing,” Akiteru tried weakly but Terushima leaned closer to him, his lips ghosting over Akiteru’s ear.

“We’re you _really_ , Akiteru-san?” Terushima saw the little hairs on Akiteru’s nape stood up, making him remove his hands to slap the older man’s shoulder because he found it cute. Terushima chuckled and started to walk beside him, placing his hands in his pockets with a smile. “You should’ve seen how red you were,”

“I blushed?” Akiteru asked unbelievably, his pace slowing as he waits for Terushima’s answer.

“Well, you’re too gay for me, what were you expecting?” Terushima cocked his eyebrows and clicked his tongue, letting the stud on his tongue came in contact with his teeth.

“Terushima Yuuji, you’re unbelievable,”

“That’s what makes me special though,” Terushima said then winked. He waited for Akiteru’s reply but he didn’t reply. They walked towards the train station in silence, just walking over the thin pile of snow and Terushima liked it nonetheless. Because it didn’t matter if they’re quiet or too loud, what's important was that Akiteru was with him right now as they both wait for the train.

And when they’re about to hop on the open doors of the train, Terushima heard the faint sentence from Akiteru’s lips, and it stayed in his mind even until Christmas ended. “Yeah, it is,”

It was definitely one of the memories in his life that he treasures the most and the familiar surge of warmness flows into his chest as he stares at the picture that they took that day. They were both holding a limited edition of Christmas chocolates that Akiteru bought for them. There was also a video of Terushima’s reaction when the cocoa bomb dissolved into the hot milk along with the marshmallows and Akiteru's gentle laughs could be heard from the background as he teases Terushima's child like reaction. All of the pictures and short videos taken that day were well kept in an album on his phone so he could look at it anytime he wants, and that includes even while he’s sitting at a train going to the club late at night.

All of his friends were busy. Akaashi’s with Bokuto, while Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were just in their respective rooms, studying for their final exams and bars aren’t Futakuchi’s thing. Despite hating the idea of going all alone to Indigo, Terushima still pushed through because he felt like bursting because of stress. His work was doubling, he hasn’t had any alcohol in his veins for a whole week and he hasn’t had any dick for a month. Hell, he didn’t even have the time to slip in quick jerk off sessions in his shower. Terushima knows that he needs this today and he somehow deserves it because he’s now holding his newly fed card. A little fun shouldn’t hurt him.

He walked past the man on the glass door after paying for the cover charge and was welcomed with the wild ambiance and energy that he likes. Terushima headed straight to the counter and opened a tab, quickly ordering two bottles of beer to relax. He downed the first one in a flash and drank the second a little slower. He was watching the people around him while slightly moving his head along with the music.

It’s just like any other day, just a little empty than usual since it's already Monday the next day. “Ugh, fuck,” Terushima whined at the thought of going to work tomorrow early with his head pounding but it's not as if he cares. Relieving stress was his first priority today.

When he finished his second bottle, he ordered another one, then again, and again and again until he felt himself feeling lighter than ever. This is good. His vision was already shaking and he couldn’t really see straight. He walked towards the crowd and went to the elevated part of the dance floor. There were approximately six people with him, or maybe eight, Terushima wasn’t really sure. But he started to roll his body, feeling himself among the sea of strangers.

“Hey there, blondie,” A guy appeared from his side and he was wearing a decent smile. “You almost slipped,” He said and Terushima squinted his eyes at him. Did he really? He cocked his head and looked at the man. He looked okay, handsome even.

“Oops,” Terushima said with a giggle then realized that the man was actually holding his elbow to support him. The man’s face was still a little blurry but Terushima was sure that he looks good. A cut above the rest from the people dancing tonight. And when the lights around them turned darker, Terushima’s insides almost flipped because the guy in front of him looked a little like Akiteru.

Terushima placed his hands just above the man’s chest and smiled, thankful that the alcohol was getting into him. That it was making his vision blurrier and somehow pretending that the man in front of him is Akiteru was getting easier.

“Uh, I’m Konoha,” The man said, making Terushima nod at him before starting to pull their bodies closer because the music seemed a little slower.

“Terushima. Terushima Yuuji,” He whispered in his ear. It was easy since they were almost the same height. Konoha looked taken aback at first, probably shocked that Terushima just said his given name that easy. But Terushima didn’t really care. What he wanted for the night was to get some.

“It’s Konoha Akinori then,” Konoha smiled at him and Terushima did the same. They danced and Konoha was actually a considerate person. His hands stayed around Terushima’s waist, fingers not really gripping him hard but enough to make him feel that Konoha wasn’t letting him go easily. “Do you want me to get you a drink or...?”

“Sure, Konoha-san—“

“You might want to start calling me Akinori,”

“Akinori?” Terushima raised his eyebrow at him.

“Practice for... I don’t know, later purposes?” Terushima almost snorted at this. Konoha was quick to get what Terushima was aiming for tonight but he sure wasn’t going to complain about it. What’s important was at least they’re on the same page.

“Buy me a drink first then I’ll call you Akinori,” And so they went to the counter and shared a few shots of alcohol. Terushima ordered nothing but drinks that has a little too high alcohol percentage because it was easier that way.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were in a fancy hotel with a good view that probably came with a good price too— sucking each other’s lips and skin, leaving marks on each other’s body that would be present for days. Everything happening was just full of eagerness and the two men clearly want nothing but getting lost in pleasure.

Konoha lived to Terushima’s expectations and the blonde couldn’t be happier. Although it would’ve been better if he’s doing his intimate adventures with the person that he actually likes. But at times like this, Terushima shoves everything about Akiteru on the side and tries to focus on himself. Because he needs this too, just like a normal human being. It's like he's desperately trying to get the warmth that he craves, that even if it’s just a stranger, just for a few hours, Terushima would grab it because he needs it.

It was complicated and Terushima himself couldn’t understand the things swirling in his head. His first one night stand incident happened solely because he was drunk and the man looked and smelled good. He cried the morning after when he was all alone in a motel room, feeling guilty because the first thing that came to his mind was Akiteru’s face. It felt wrong to him. It _was_ wrong to him, especially when he’s always texting Akiteru every day but then he suddenly slept with someone that easy.

It was okay at first and Terushima was able to forget what happened until he felt hungry. He couldn’t understand it, really. When Futakuchi and him broke up, Terushima was able to survive a year without any sex and it was easy. But right after tasting it again for almost two years, a really long time compared to his past active sexual life when he still had his boyfriend, Terushima felt salivating for it. Suddenly, the toys weren’t enough. Suddenly, a real human being is what he’s yearning for.

It took him months before he finally gave in to his new endeavor in life. Something that he tries to squish in between his life with numbers. Terushima still tells himself that it was alright because, at the end of the day, it’s still Akiteru. It’s just sex with strangers, and this will never affect what he’s feeling for Akiteru.

_It’s just sex. Still Akiteru._

Terushima’s eyes shot open along with his mouth but no sound came out. His back arched from the bed as he reached his climax. Konoha jerks him off through his orgasm, still thrusting to chase his own high. It wasn’t long until Konoha’s face was twisted all because of pleasure and Terushima could feel him twitching inside him.

“ _God_ , Yuuji,” Konoha said before pulling out of him and discarding the used condom in the trash bin. He collapsed beside the blonde who was cleaning himself with a wet cloth.

Terushima let out a small chuckle to mask the growing guiltiness in his mind. It’s always like this. Every time that he finishes, Akiteru’s smiling face would always light up in front of his eyes. It was torturing him.

“Do you want some?” Konoha asked while passing him a cigarette but Terushima just shook his head. The guy lit his cigarette and started to puff out the distinct smoke. Terushima tried not to mind him and just continued wiping himself clean with the cloth that Konoha readied for him earlier. “So, what’re you doing?”

Terushima didn’t want to answer. He’s just a one night stand and telling him his work would seem overboard. But then Konoha treated him okay and he did spend _some_ money on him tonight and he fucked him good. Maybe answering a few common questions wouldn’t be too bad.

“I deal with numbers,” Terushima said while folding the wet cloth and placing it on the bedside table. “An accountant,”

“Oh, I like numbers!” Konoha said enthusiastically and his cigarette was long forgotten when he started to talk about himself. He told Terushima unnecessary things about numbers and Terushima felt like dying because fuck, why don’t numbers just leave him alone?

But Konoha looked happy when he told him that he was the one that is currently the financial analyst of the bar that they’ve just been to. Terushima felt becoming more comfortable with their conversation, the first-ever post-sex conversation that he had with a one night stand. Konoha told him things, big things like he was actually the nephew of the owner of the bar, and Terushima found himself starting to share little things with him too but as talking about himself became as easy as breathing,  Terushima actually felt relaxed and guilty at the same time.

_Still Akiteru._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The weekly updates are really inconsistent but please bear with me!! Thank you for reading though! Love lots (´,,•ω•,,)♡


	4. Chapter 4

The taste of beer was heavier than usual on Terushima’s tongue. It still goes down his throat as easy as it always does but there was something more thrumming in his chest tonight with the current happening. His friends just graduated and they’re celebrating and Akiteru was beside him in the bar, drinking too, and inside the place where Terushima usually fools around. Terushima thought that it was okay at first, but now that Akiteru’s here, he just couldn’t shove the thought away. That maybe someone would come up to them and Akiteru would know that Terushima has been sleeping around sometimes even though he’s saying that he likes him.

Terushima was getting relentless, his legs bouncing more than usual as he drank the last remnants of the ice-cold beer. He already had half a dozen but instead of getting floaty like he usually feels while drinking, all he got was a growing headache.

He wanted to dance it away but he didn’t want to leave Akiteru too. Almost everyone left now. Akaashi and Bokuto were somewhere that he couldn’t see while Tsukishima and Kuroo were on the counter, just drinking and whispering.

“Oh god, look at them,” Terushima chuckled when he saw Yamaguchi, Hinata, and Kageyama on the dance floor. They were awkwardly dancing, but at least they were trying to dance and Terushima thought that he should give them more credits for that.

“Do you want to dance too?” Akiteru asked then gulped a mouthful of beer and Terushima forced himself to look away from staring at the older man’s neck.

“Do you want to?” Terushima looked at him again but before Akiteru could answer, Terushima grinned. “Never mind that, I suddenly remembered that you suck at it,”

“I’m better than Kageyama-kun,”

“Oh please, both of you are on the same level,” Akiteru shot him a glare but Terushima just stuck his tongue out for a fleeting moment. With the now empty bottle of beer in his hand, Terushima scanned the table in front of them and his eyes caught the bottle of vodka that they ordered.

Terushima pushed himself up to get the bottle from across the table but lost his balance which caused him to tip a little, almost dropping a few days worth of his salary if not for Akiteru’s quick reaction. Akiteru was now holding his elbow and the small of his back and it was making Terushima feel hotter than usual.

“You should stop drinking now,” Akiteru advised but both of them knew that Terushima wouldn’t even think of doing it. They sat on the fluffy velvet couch as Terushima started to grab two shot glasses to pour their drinks.

Everything was starting to feel light when Terushima and Akiteru drank a few more shots of straight vodka. Terushima was starting to talk more than he usually does— which is already a lot, while Akiteru was laughing a little too much with everything that Terushima was saying. It wasn’t even funny things, to begin with, but Akiteru was laughing, and Terushima couldn’t wish for anything else at the moment because the way Akiteru’s eyes creases when he laughs is just too precious.

“Then there was this boy in my class when I was in second year, couldn’t really remember his name now and he looked average so yeah— and then he was okay at first, placing a few chocolate bars in my locker then he got worse,” Terushima drank another shot of vodka and Akiteru automatically poured another. “He then started to corner me telling me that he’d die happy if he’ll be able to feel my tongue piercing—“

“He did what?” Akiteru asked with a hiccup at the end of his question. Terushima faced his upper body at him and he could now see how red Akiteru is already because of the alcohol.

“He cornered me, two, wait, no, three, actually make it four times. He was so weird! I mean, who the fuck corners someone and tells them that they’ll die happily—“

What happened was too sudden that Terushima didn’t know if it was really happening or if he was just imagining things like he usually does. Because there’s no way that Akiteru was pressing his lips onto him. Terushima safely concluded that it was the alcohol that was turning his imaginations into something that almost feels real.

“I want to feel it too, Yuuji,” Terushima felt the words right across his lips and it was hot. His eyes might’ve been doubling their size and he might’ve had his mouth quite agape because of how his brain still couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Did Akiteru just kiss him? And did he just said that?

“G-go on then,” Terushima stuttered and was sure that he was about to die due to embarrassment when Akiteru leaned to him and captured his lips. Oh, he was sure that he was dying, not because of embarrassment but now because of the wild sparks in his chest as Akiteru opened his mouth to kiss him.

To kiss him. _Fuck._

Terushima lost all the rational thoughts in his mind when he felt Akiteru’s tongue swiping across his bottom lip. He kissed him back for a second before his body started to act on its own. Suddenly, he was straddling Akiteru, his knees on both sides of Akiteru’s hips. His hands were latched on Akiteru’s softer blonde locks as he kissed him fully.

He couldn’t breathe but Terushima was quite sure that he was having the best time of his life. It’s real now. He’s kissing Akiteru after so many years of waiting and running after him. Terushima’s mind was void of everything but the taste of Akiteru’s mouth, minty, and a whole lot of vodka. It was consuming him and Terushima was more than ready to take the intoxication.

He felt Akiteru’s hands on his hips, his thumb gently swiping on the last of his ribs and his fingers felt hot that Terushima felt like sweating even though the air conditioner on the VIP lodge was strong. And really, what Akiteru said was just repeating in his mind like a broken record. So Terushima did what Akiteru was asking for earlier. He licked into his mouth and let his sinful tongue along with his tiny pretty stud lavish Akiteru’s mouth. Akiteru was humming deeply whenever their tongues brush against each other and it was pushing Terushima on the brink.

He was feeling everything. The way Akiteru shifted under him so Terushima could sit on his lap more comfortably, the way his hands came from his hips to his neck and cheek, and the way his lips moves against his. This was nothing like Terushima’s imaginations. He imagined their first kiss happening on the couch, inside the movie theater, a restaurant, all domestic fluff scenarios but now, they’re in a bar and they were making out like there’s no tomorrow but Terushima thinks that it was perfect. It will never be not perfect.

He wasn’t sure how long they were kissing but when he saw Akiteru’s now slightly puffed kiss bitten lips, Terushima figured that it wasn’t just a few minutes. He bumped his forehead against Akiteru’s as they both catch their breath.

“I feel like crying, Aki,” He confessed, eyes closed, his full weight bearing on Akiteru’s lap whose hands were back to his hips.

“Don’t. Don’t cry. I don’t want you crying,” Akiteru said making Terushima nod slightly. He tried his best to stop the tears and he somewhat successfully did despite all the emotions that he was feeling. Terushima was more than elated that he couldn’t even feel the aftermath of everything that he drank.

Then Akiteru hiccuped and they both laughed.

Terushima moved to his original seat, which was beside Akiteru and not his lap. He grabbed a bottle of water at the edge of the table and gave it to Akiteru with a smile. When Akiteru finished drinking half of the content of the bottle, he gave it to Terushima which the younger gladly accepted.

The night continued with the both of them still continuously drinking, but now a little less than earlier. Their random topics were overflowing just like what Terushima was feeling. His whole being felt light and bubbly and he couldn’t really pinpoint what was in his chest. All he knows is that he likes the feeling of Akiteru’s shoulder brushing against his from time to time as they laugh together over their fucked up college stories.

No one brought up what happened the whole night but Terushima was fine with that. What’s important is that suddenly they were sitting closer than ever and Akiteru was red and was cracking some dad jokes at their friends who just came back from the dance floor.

Everything that happened next was a blur once the alcohol finally hit Terushima. Akaashi drove them back home using Bokuto’s car since Tsukishima and Kuroo went out earlier for their own little venture.

His head was pounding when he woke up that he couldn’t even open his eyes for ten minutes after waking up. He kept his eyes closed as he remembers everything that happened last night. _Akiteru’s lips on his_. Maybe Terushima could actually die happily now.

Terushima didn’t stop himself from squealing loudly while burying his face on his pillow. His heart was pounding so hard and suddenly, his hangover was long forgotten. His happiness was skyrocketing too much that all the alcohol that he drank last night lost it’s effect on him as soon as he remembered how Akiteru kissed him.

He went down from his room, excited to see Akiteru hopelessly trying to help Akaashi to make breakfast or see him on the couch still sleeping soundly but he was welcomed with none. Akaashi was cooking, Yamaguchi was still asleep and Tsukishima went to his Mom with Kuroo. Akiteru was nowhere to be found and it made his guts twist bitterly.

“Hi there, babe. Want some aspirin?” Akaashi asked as soon as he saw him. “You were pretty wasted last night,”

“Where’s Akiteru?”

“Well, he went out as soon as he woke up. Mumbling something about work, I think. I tried to stop him since he looked like he was going to pass out but obviously failed. So, aspirin or not?”

“Yeah, aspirin,” Terushima was hoping to see him first in the morning. With the memory of yesterday still fresh that if he focuses enough, he could feel Akiteru’s lips on him once again. A morning kiss would’ve been a great cure for his hangover instead of the aspirin that Akaashi was giving him now.

He drank the small tablet and pressed his cheek on the cold counter. Terushima just wanted to see him again and maybe steal a few kisses now that they’ve finally breached the line of being just friends but he tries to understand. They’re both working adults and some things just need to be attended to first before they could get all smoochy. Terushima understands and even though he was completely cheerless at the moment, the hope of getting twice the amount of kisses that he should be getting from Akiteru right now the next time they see each other makes him at ease.

But he didn’t see him nor did Akiteru texted him for a week. Terushima didn’t really think deeply of it since it happens sometimes when Akiteru is busy with his work and it’s completely understandable because the mangas that Akiteru is handling are quite popular. But Terushima was actually waiting for a single text. It didn’t matter if it’s just a good morning or if he’s just asking how is Kei doing, as long as he texted him but nothing came from Akiteru’s number.

Yet, Terushima tried his best to understand it.

Even if the thought of missing Akiteru was invading his mind triple times than it does before, Terushima gives the space that Akiteru needs to be able to finish all his work earlier. Then maybe he’d go and visit their house and Terushima will finally be able to enjoy Akiteru all to himself after years.

Terushima blushes at the thought of cuddling Akiteru on his bed and almost brought out his phone to watch their videos on their first Christmas together even though he’s walking on the streets on his way to his work just to intensify the bubbly feeling in his chest but then his eyes caught something.

Akiteru’s in the busy streets of Tokyo with a girl clinging onto him.

Terushima wanted to rub his eyes and pray that his eyes were just playing tricks on him but he knew better. Terushima has already memorized Akiteru. How he stands, walks, laughs, eats, talks, and how he smiles. Naturally, seeing Akiteru smile makes Terushima smile too but he just couldn’t bring himself to smile right now. Not when Akiteru is smiling at that girl so sweetly that Terushima could almost feel sticky.

The bubbly feeling in his chest was replaced with some shitty acid, burning and uncomfortable. The feeling was foreign and Terushima didn’t know what to do to ease the pain. Before he could even think of a way, his feet moved and suddenly he was running, peeling his eyes away from the sore sight.

_What the fuck was that? We made out, right? Then why was he out there looking like he’s on a date?_

Terushima ran and ran until his legs felt like giving up but he pushed himself hoping that his legs would be in pain more than his chest so he could just focus on it, not on whats going on in his chest. Terushima was biting his lip the whole time to prevent himself from crying. It would be embarrassing for everyone to see a random man who was supposed to be at his work crying on the streets while running.

All of his efforts to stop himself from crying when he reached their house. He quickly opened the gate after fishing out his keys. He intended to go and run into his room first but his tears started flowing out with abandon. He was left in front of the front door with the keys in his hand, crying with his whole being aching. His legs finally gave up making him sit with a thud.

The familiar vicinity of the house made him feel comfortable enough to cry— though being in his room could’ve been better. He let himself wail like a child. Terushima was hurting and it felt like shit that he couldn’t explain it. Even when he’s closing his eyes, all he could see was the look on Akiteru’s face when he was with the girl. He looked happy with her.

Does he like her? Not him?

Then what happened to the thing that they did a week ago? Terushima was sure that Akiteru was the one who initiated what happened back there. He was the one who kissed him and he kissed him like he meant it so why was he hanging out with a woman? Did it mean nothing? Was he just teasing him like he always does? What if he was—

“Teru,” The voice made Terushima look behind him and upon seeing Yamaguchi, Terushima stood up and hugged him. Instantly feeling the warmth that Yamaguchi possesses. He hated how he’s one of the people who get even more emotional when someone comforts him. But maybe it's okay right now. It’s his friends in front of him, not just someone and he knows that his friends wouldn’t hate him like how he hates himself.

All he heard for the next minutes were Akaashi and Yamaguchi comforting him. His mind was hazy from all the crying but at some point, he felt himself stop from crying. Maybe he ran out of tears or maybe his eyes already hurt so much that it just gave out too.

“Yuuji, why are you crying?” Tsukishima asked that made Terushima come back to reality. He didn’t even notice that Tsukishima was there with them. He leaned his head on Yamaguchi’s chest and tried to smile to at least cheer himself up although it sounds absurd at the moment.

“I saw Akiteru. He’s with a girl and she has her hand around his arm. She— they— they were talking and shit, Akiteru was all smiles,” Saying it out loud gave a different effect on him. The impact felt too strong and hollow at the same time that the only thing Terushima was able to do was to cry again.

“You sure that it's Akiteru?” Akaashi asked while patting his head gently.

“Of course, I’m sure. He could be one kilometer away from me and I’ll still know that it's him. I know that dirty blonde hair, I know his height, I know his walk.. and I also know the fact that we made out once,” It was that kiss’ fault. It got him hoping for something more and Terushima was already so high. He was already up above the clouds along with his hopes and it hurt to fall down from the clouds.

“Did he saw you?” Tsukishima asked, sitting beside Akaashi then leaned his head on the backrest of the couch.

“No. I ran fast. Heck, I wasn’t even able to go to work. My feet just moved,” Terushima chuckled but it sounded so fake for him that he wanted to puke.

“Why is he even here? Did he changed jobs, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked but Tsukishima just shook his head. Terushima wanted to think that maybe the girl was just Akiteru’s colleague in his work but that seemed too far from the reality. Akiteru works in Fukushima so there’s no way that he’s in Tokyo for work. Unless he’s here for a date. Ah— Terushima’s heart just throbbed in pain.

“I fucking hate no label shits,” Terushima said with a huff but it made Akaashi and Yamaguchi laugh. Their laughs made him calm down even though Tsukishima still stayed quiet like his usual self.

“Talk to him, Yuuji. Both of you need that,” Akaashi said then reached for Terushima’s cheeks to dry them thoroughly. Terushima lightly grabbed Akaashi’s wrist to hold his hand and thank him when he shrieked. Terushima furrowed his eyebrows at him when he saw the bruise on Akaashi soft skin.

“What's this?” Terushima asked, his voice spitting venom like he’s ready to fight anyone who did this to Akaashi. “Did Bokuto did this?”

“How could— I will call the fucking police—“ Yamaguchi stood but Akaashi stopped him by holding his hand and suddenly, Terushima’s chest was heaving with anger.

“Calm down guys, I can explain,” Akaashi said, his eyes pleading.

“Yeah, you better be explaining, or else I’ll jump on that shit and slash his throat,” Terushima let goes of his wrist and crosses his arm. Seeing Akiteru with someone was something but seeing Akaashi with a bruise after what happened to him in the past was a whole lot more than something.

“I saw that jerk yesterday, he came into the cafe. Fuck— he even smiled at me. I felt like dying on the spot. It turned my mood upside down and I lashed out at Bokuto. I didn’t mean it but I just exploded at him. He was asking me why but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I was too caught up with my emotions that I slapped him hard. He also got mad and when I was about to walk out he grabbed me by my wrist tightly, and yeah, that's the bruise. I cried upon feeling trapped, his grip was too, too tight— so I told him to go to hell,”

“Fucking hell,” Tsukishima sighed.

“We should report this to the police. His restraining order should be good for two more years. How dare he,” Terushima said between gritted teeth and Yamaguchi was quick to call the police.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just thought that Bokuto hurt you,” Tsukishima muttered but Akaashi just smiled at him. Terushima was clueless about what they were talking about but there’s always Yamaguchi who can spill some things to him.

Tsukishima hugged Akaashi and Terushima was contented to see them looking happy just by hugging each other but Terushima felt like bursting when Tsukishima included him in the hug and when Yamaguchi jumped onto them and tried to hug them all, Terushima was overwhelmed with warmth and love and for a minute, all his problems vanished.

—

Akaashi was right. Akiteru and Terushima need to talk things through. Everything was vague between them. They kissed but it seemed like they’re just barely past being friends. Terushima wanted to cry again. It was wrong for him to get his hopes up what can he do? He’s been waiting for that moment for years and now that it happened, it just pained him, the complete opposite of what thought in his every daydream.

This made him sulky and it just affected everything in his life. If it wasn’t for Futakuchi who actively tries to make him smile, Terushima might’ve jumped off of the building of his work. He has been buying Terushima’s lunch too for four days now and this makes him a little happy. All his friends were consoling him, trying to get back that always smiling and quirky Terushima and he is truly grateful. Misaki even got him a coffee this morning. But Terushima just couldn’t get back up that easily.

It’s Akiteru that’s he’s having a problem with. The person that he likes for a long time now and.. fuck. This was just hard for Terushima. It was as if what he saw was a boulder that was thrown to him without any caution.

“I went to that strip club the other night. You know, the one beside the motel?” Terushima nodded and munched on his chocolate bar lazily. They were both sitting on a chair inside the convenience store close to their work, both facing the huge glass, letting them see everyone outside and vice-versa. “It was raining with money! I swear! I was so close to asking them if they need new dancers but I know that we should apply together—“

“Kenji, we don’t know how to do pole dancing,” Terushima said, already drained from a whole day of working with numbers.

“But Yuuji!” Futakuchi put down his chocolate bar and grabbed Terushima’s hands excitedly. Terushima could almost see the reflection of money on Futakuchi’s eyes. “Imagine, our salary there in that fucking accounting firm? We could earn all that in just one song!”

“Calm your exclamation points, bitch. You’re overly loud. You really want everyone to learn that we’re planning to become strippers?” Terushima’s lips were starting to curl upwards now.

“Well, that would actually help us. They might want to go and support us there—“ Terushima started laughing. He has never seen Futakuchi this serious for a long time now. It was funny to think that when they were in college, they would both talk about the future of being an accountant, and now that they finally have the job that their college selves dreamt of— well, it’s not really Terushima’s dream— they’re planning on becoming a stripper.

“Hey, come on, don’t laugh! I’m serious!”

“I— yeah,” Terushima snorted, “I know that you’re serious,”

“Finally, Terushima-san,” Futakuchi said then he let go of Terushima’s hands. Grabbing his chocolate and eating it once again while staring at the walking people outside.

Terushima halted from laughing and it boiled down to a hearty smile. “Kenji—“ His mouth was suddenly stuffed with chocolate, the dark one that Futakuchi bought for himself. Terushima shot a glare at him but still tried to eat the big chunk of chocolate in his mouth.

“I’m always here, okay? No matter what happens, Yuuji. I’ll always be here for you,” Terushima wanted to say something but the chocolate was on his way. He wanted to tell him that he is more than thankful that he still has Futakuchi in his life despite their past relationship. He wouldn’t know what to do if Futakuchi will suddenly be out of the picture in his life. “. You can solve your problem with Akiteru-san but I’d like to see you smile. You’ve been frowning for a week now. It doesn’t really suit you and babe, you’ll get wrinkles. How will we be able to get into that strip club if you’re ugly?”

“I hate you, Futakuchi-san,” Terushima forcefully said even with his mouth full.

“I know, Terushima-san,” He was smiling at him genuinely and then Futakuchi reached up to him and ran his fingers through his hair.

_ Oh, this was the first time that Futakuchi did this to him again after they broke up— _

“I didn’t know that you two are still...”

The voice made him shiver and suddenly, he can no longer feel Futakuchi’s hand. Terushima looked at his side and his horror was right before his eyes. His parents were standing beside them. Looking down at him because of the stolen height difference with Terushima sitting and them standing.

He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. It’s been five years since he last saw them and their last memory together was really... ugly. They looked older now and Terushima wondered what were they thinking about now that they’re facing each other. Did they felt the urge to hug him? Because Terushima did. And he really wanted to do so but their eyes looked the same from that day. It was still full of utter disappointment that Terushima felt like becoming smaller under their spiteful gaze.

A few seconds just passed by but Terushima’s eyes were already stinging. His emotions were messily getting mixed up. He was happy to see them after a lot of years but he felt like crying now that they’re looking at him like no one has disappointed them in their life other than their only son.

“It was good to see you,” He heard Futakuchi said before grabbing Terushima’s hand and dragging him past his parents. Futakuchi’s steps were too big and fast that Terushima had a hard time keeping up with him and his grip on Terushima’s hand was getting tight too.

“Kenji,” Terushima called out but Futakuchi showed no response. “Kenji,”

“How could you stand that?” They abruptly stopped from walking and Futakuchi let go of his hand. “They were looking at you like you’re some kind of _trash_ , Yuuji! I-I…” Terushima let out a chuckle when Futakuchi looked like he was about to cry. He enveloped him into a hug and patted his back with a little force. Terushima wanted to tell him that he couldn’t stand it too but Terushima was scared and he thinks that he will always be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	5. Chapter 5

Terushima was grasping his phone tightly. He was thinking whether to call Akiteru to hear his voice to calm himself or just wait until Akiteru was the one who reaches out to him.

Work was hard and his parents’ stare at him that day still haunts him. It was adding a ton of stress to him and Terushima doesn’t know how to ease what he’s feeling. He couldn’t open up to his friends that he’s living with because he knew that they have problems of their own and he doesn’t want to talk to Futakuchi too about this matter because he knew that Futakuchi also hates his job and that he just looks like he’ll combust in anger anytime when Terushima mentions his parents. Going to a psychiatrist wasn’t even in the choices because Terushima just simply doesn’t have enough money.

He’s seriously about to go insane.

Completely not sure what to do, Terushima puts his phone down on the table and aggressively sips his drink. He’s so annoyed that he almost drank everything in just one sip and only realizes this when his throat felt like shrinking because fuck, the drink was too cold. It only took him five more sips to finally finish his drink and decided to stuff his phone in his pocket and go out of the cafe.

He waved first at Akaashi before leaving which his friend gladly returned with a smile after he mouthed a _love you_ to the blonde. He pushed the glass door, already thinking where to go next to at least spend his day off in a good way, not just in his room and overthinking everything.

“Yuuji?” Terushima quickly turns his head to his right, clearly weirded out that someone just called him by his given name and that he doesn’t even recognize the person’s voice. Was it a colleague of his? Even then, it’d be rude to call him Yuuji when they’re not actually close.

The crease on his forehead disappears when he saw a familiar face just a meter away from him. Who was this person again? And why was he calling Terushima by his— _oh._

“Oh! Akinori!” Terushima said before he was able to remember Akinori’s family name. They called each other by their first names all throughout that night that he could just vaguely remember his— ah, wait, was it Kanoha? No, that sounds wrong. Konoha? Terushima thinks a bit and decides that Konoha felt right.

“It’s been a while,” Konoha said and Terushima actually wanted to tell him that it's not like they had any relationship at all besides what happened that night.

“Yeah. Have you been well this past month?” It was nothing but awkward. All Terushima could remember was how Konoha fucked him deep and that he’s affiliated with the owner of Indigo. Oh, and he gave him a VIP pass when they celebrated his friends’ graduation.

“I’ve been good. Indigo’s getting more popular so I’ve been working my ass off. How about you? Still irritated with numbers?” Konoha said with a smile and Terushima blinked a few times when the sunlight hit Konoha’s face. The man was actually beautiful. But that thought just lasted for a split second because upon hearing Konoha’s question, he felt his blood boil.

He still hates numbers and probably will forever.

“Yes, and I can’t even emphasize how much I hate those shits—“ Terushima was cut off with Konoha’s laugh. He was dumbfounded at first but then Konoha grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the side because they were blocking the other people’s way.

“You can rant all you want but I don’t think that it’s appropriate to do that here,”

“Oh, you’re right,” Terushima blushed because of embarrassment and felt the urge to slap his mouth because why does it just move on its own without even consulting his brain? “Sorry,”

“That’s completely fine, Yuuji-kun,” Konoha said but he looked like he still wanted to say something. Before Terushima could ask, Konoha was already leaning a little closer to him. “But do you... do you want to talk about it over some, I don’t know, coffee, maybe?”

Terushima just had his iced coffee.

But Konoha looked like he was waiting for good response and the fact the Konoha was ready to listen to Terushima’s rants was too enticing. He’ll be able to blow off some steam, have someone to accompany him so he’ll not get bored the whole day, and maybe Konoha would even pay for his drink.

“I prefer iced coffee,” Konoha automatically smiled that almost made Terushima do the same too.

“I’m actually in love with that too,” This made the blonde grin before they walked towards the cafe of Konoha’s choice.

As soon as they sat down, both facing each other, Terushima started to tell a bunch of things that were bugging his mind. It was weird knowing that he doesn’t really know Konoha yet he’s telling him some of his problems. But maybe there were times that it’s really easier to open up to strangers than to someone that you’re close with. Konoha didn’t seem to mind too and Terushima took this as a cue to just continue.

Konoha even gave him a ride home but Terushima chose to go off not in front of the house to respect his and his friends’ privacy. Before Konoha let him off of his car though, he asked for Terushima’s phone number.

“Uh, for future purposes, I think?” Konoha laughed awkwardly and Terushima finally concluded that even though Konoha looked like a cliche bad boy, he’s actually a guy who's just full of awkwardness. It was amusing that he was able to swing Terushima that night without showing any of his awkwardness.

“Okay,” Terushima smiled. “Give me your phone,” Konoha quickly grabbed his phone from his pocket then gave it to Terushima which the blonde accepted. He encoded his number and named it simply, Terushima Yuuji, but with a honey emoji beside it. “I’m not up for booty calls though,” Terushima joked as he gave back Konoha’s phone.

“Wait, no! I- I’m not thinking about that! I mean.. I... I just want to be friends with you, I guess?” There was no doubt that Terushima was shocked. He was touched to know that Konoha was not after his body. He just wanted to be his friend. And god, they’re already 25 for fucks sake yet Konoha was still verbalizing that he wants to be friends with someone his age. It’s cute and awkward at the same time.

“I’m just kidding, Konoha-san. Just text me anytime, it’s okay. I’ll probably answer your texts first before working with fucking numbers,”

“Your ugly boss might fire you though,”

“Ugh, yes please,” Terushima rolled his eyes that brought a smile to Konoha’s lips. “Then, I’ll see you around?”

“Oh, yeah,” Konoha said as Terushima unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door. “I’ll be texting you,”

“No objections there,” Terushima landed on the concrete with a thud and a playful smile. “Thank you for the ride, Akinori!” Konoha nodded at him then Terushima closed the door and waved happily as Konoha’s car slowly gets out of his sight.

His day off wasn’t as bad as he thought. He had two cups of iced coffee, two cupcakes, a donut, and a new friend. Terushima felt extremely nice as he walks towards their house while soaking in the golden light of the sun.

—

Tsukishima’s birthday happened and Terushima was one of the proudest people when it successfully ended since he, Akaashi, Yamaguchi, and Kuroo were the ones who planned everything. All the money and effort that they gave were more than worth it.

Terushima had fun. Maybe. But he could’ve been happier if Akiteru wasn’t there which was impossible knowing that he’s Tsukishima’s older brother and Akiteru just loves Kei so much.

When they were still planning, Akaashi asked him a couple of times if he’ll be okay with Akiteru close to him and not wanting to ruin this for Kei, Terushima answered him positively. It’s going to be Tsukishima’s birthday, it’s not about him and seeing Akiteru’s inevitable since their worlds are close.

But no matter how hard Terushima tried to stop himself from sparing a glance at Akiteru, he just couldn’t stop himself. Akiteru looked good tonight, god, he always looks good. Terushima wanted to approach him and give him a drink that Bokuto sloppily mixed so he can laugh at Akiteru’s reaction upon tasting it and they’ll be happy again. He wanted to pull him on their makeshift dance floor, aka their living room to dance because they haven’t danced together yet. But a part of him wanted Akiteru to be the one to reach out to him. It was his blooming pride, something that he never showed as he obviously runs after Akiteru.

He was still hurt and even though he wanted to hear Akiteru’s explanation, to know _who the fuck_ was that girl but Terushima wanted Akiteru to be the first to talk to him because it has always been him who broach everything. He just wanted to be the one who replies and not just the one who initiates.

That’s how he ended up dancing in a very energetic way with Hinata, who is currently in a long-term fight with Kageyama whose on the corner, talking to Akiteru. Just like him, Hinata was also rolling his eyes at that certain corner where the other two sit. He also kept on muttering things like how stupid Kageyama is and how unfair it is that he still looks beautiful. Terushima could relate but there’s no way that he’s going to verbalize his thoughts like the orange-haired boy. He’ll keep his mouth shut and not let anyone hear how his heart still pumps wildly because of Akiteru even though he just saw him with a girl weeks ago.

The small yet loud party ended around four in the morning, with everyone wasted. Almost everyone who was invited ended up sleeping in the guest room. Iwaizumi and drunk Oikawa were the only ones who were able to go home. The house was a mess and everyone too, apparently but Terushima was happy. Thanks to the alcohol, it became easier to ignore Akiteru just like his plan.

He was able to get the extra attention that he needs whenever he’s drunk from his friends, especially from Hinata because they’re the only ones who're not on good terms with their boyfriend. Terushima chuckles at this, it’s not like he and Akiteru are boyfriends in the first place. They just kissed for fucks sake and Terushima was the dumb one who hoped for something more.

Just like that day, when Terushima woke up, Akiteru was already nowhere to be found. Terushima clutched the glass hard but relaxes when Akaashi hugs him from behind. He pushes himself to think that it’s okay. That it’s supposed to be Akiteru who reaches out first, not him because he already did it for years.

Another week ended without them talking. It could’ve driven Terushima wild but accidentally meeting Konoha again in the middle of the streets seemed like a blessing in disguise. Konoha served as Terushima’s distraction every time his mind tries to fly away, going straight to a part of his brain that doesn’t have anything but Akiteru.

He was a good company and Terushima could already consider him as a good friend. They have a lot in common and it was easy to talk to Konoha even though he’s an awkward person. Their friendly meetings occurred every time both of them has time off their work and other important personal matters.

Terushima found himself looking forward to every end of his work because Konoha would be waiting for him and they’d hang out at a cafe. He’ll have the liberty to freely diss his job without fearing that he might judge him. He’s Konoha after all, a genuine person who clearly showed his clean intentions to Terushima.

They were slowly building memories that weren’t in Terushima’s plan but he couldn’t complain because he was having fun being with Konoha. It was fun to go to every cafe in the vicinity of Tokyo. It was like an adventure with all those new flavors of coffee with them.

And when they decided to have coffee together before going to work for the first time, there was something that was bubbling in Terushima’s chest, making him get up from his bed earlier than he should be. He was the first person to wake up, damn, he’s even earlier than Keiji. That’s a first. Terushima wasn’t good at cooking so all he did was to make his friends’ coffee just the way they like it and poured it in an insulated mug that he gave them. When he was about to go out of the house, Akaashi saw him with a quirky smile.

“Good morning, Keiji baby! I need to go out early today,” Terushima said while wearing his shoes. Akaashi walked up to him with his arms crossed, the quirky smile still not fading away. It took Terushima a few seconds before finally seeing Akaashi’s smile and when he did, he stood up and furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re happy,” Terushima almost choked. Was he, really? He didn’t get the chance to say something when Akaashi suddenly shoved him out of the house. “You’ll be late for your date, come on, move now and tell me about it later! Love you!”

Akaashi shut the door and Terushima was left thinking thousands of things.

“It’s not a date,” He muttered as he walked towards the train station. It was a long walk and Terushima’s legs were about to give up but there was a nagging in his head.

_It’s not a date._

Terushima nodded. Satisfied with the way how he thinks because it’s really not a date. Maybe a date, but just a friendly one. Konoha’s nice but.. fuck, Terushima misses Akiteru so much.

It’s been a while since he did this but Terushima was once again seated on the corner of the train, watching him and Akiteru’s first Christmas together. The pictures captured the memories while the videos captured their smiles and god, he’s just missing him more. Watching their videos together doesn’t even aid the feeling of longing for Akiteru. This was bad. Terushima doesn’t even know how long can he hold on without Akiteru talking to him.

Thanks to the conscious half of himself, he was able to snap out of reality just before the train doors closed in his stop. And Konoha was already there, waiting for him while leaning on his car’s hood. He waved upon seeing Terushima which made the blonde walk faster to go to him.

“Hi, good morning,”

“Good morning too, Yuuji-san,” Terushima bit his lip when Konoha smiled. It's unfair how some men can look this good early in the morning.

They went inside the car and Konoha drove towards the cafe close to Terushima’s work to avoid him getting late. It was Terushima’s turn to pay for the coffee since he lost in their little rock-paper-scissors game, which Konoha didn’t really want to play because he doesn’t mind paying.

“Then he tried to coax me by getting me drinks. I mean, I know that’s how hookups starts but why would you even boast how much is your monthly income? I’m just literally up for the sex, not the money,” Terushima blabbers as Konoha listens to him attentively.

“That’s kind of weird. Did you sleep with him though?” Konoha asked, his voice laced with curiosity but Terushima shook his head. He felt shivers on his arms when he remembered the arrogant guy’s face. That man doesn’t even look good.

“Of course, no! He’s a creep,”

“Well, that’s good. Don’t sleep with creeps,”

“I slept with you,” Terushima said with a grin and Konoha looked at him, obviously offended.

“I’m not a creep, Yuuji-kun,”

“You literally called me _blondie_ the first time we met,” Terushima then started to chuckle as the blood from Konoha’s face slowly drains. He knew that it might’ve been the alcohol but it would not stop him from using it again because the look on Konoha’s embarrassed face is too funny.

They chat for another thirty minutes until it was fifteen minutes before Terushima’s work. Konoha’s doesn’t start until a little later so he grabs the opportunity to walk Terushima in front of his work’s building.

“Uhm, so, I’ll get off of work early later. Would you like to uh, I don’t know? Hang out?” Oh. Terushima loves how awkward Konoha is.

“Sure thing! How about we go to Indigo later? Let’s have some alcohol instead of coffee,”

“Y-yeah! See you later then. I’ll be waiting for you,” In a flash, Konoha was nowhere to be found and Terushima was left at the building’s entrance with a smile.

“ _Let’s have some alcohol instead of coffee,_ ” Terushima visibly flinched when he heard Futakuchi’s voice really close to his ears.

“What the fuck, you hoe!” Terushima said, almost shouting but keeping his voice down because his words are clearly inappropriate for work. He grabs Futakuchi’s ear and twists it until the brunette almost shouts in pain.

“Fuck you. Is saying a good morning hard?”

“You sneaked on me and repeated Akinori’s words— wait, you heard us?” Futakuchi grabbed Terushima’s sleeve and pulled him a little closer as they walk.

“Well, you guys are literally in front of the building and I’m a working adult who coincidentally works here soooo..” Terushima rolled his eyes but then Futakuchi insistently pulls his sleeve. “Was that Akinori-san?”

“It’s Konoha-san for you,”

“Well, bitch, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that it’s his given name. You’ve been telling stories about him while using _Akinori_ , not Konoha,” Futakuchi pressed the up button on the elevator and both of them waited. “So you two are really close now?”

“Well, I think so,” Terushima fiddles with his fingers. Why was he suddenly getting nervous without any reason? Konoha’s just his friend. All those coffee doesn’t mean anything.

“So Akiteru-san’s out of the picture now?”

“Of course not,” Terushima said, a little louder and forceful than he wanted it to be. The elevator opened and Terushima quickly went inside. What was happening? Why was he getting fidgety? He still likes Akiteru, he’s just waiting for him to call or even text him. He's just distracting himself by hanging out with a friend. That's not bad, right?

But what if Akiteru saw him with Konoha and thought that they’re a thing?

_Holy shit._

And now he’s distancing himself because Terushima has someone new now.

_No, no no no no_

“Yuuji, pull yourself together. I was just asking,” Terushima snaps back and Futakuchi was now looking at him worriedly. “You look stressed. Have you and Akiteru-san haven’t talked yet?”

“He’s still not reaching out,”

“And you’re really letting your pride hinder your love life?” Futakuchi nudges him with his elbow but Terushima was just staring at his reflection. Terushima didn’t care. He never even thought of his pride as he continuously squishes himself in Akiteru’s life. It’s just this time. He was hurt for fucks sake. It’s not his fault, it was Akiteru’s.

“Yes, I do. He’s been acting like a brat and I’m not having any of it. It’s his turn to pursue me and explain shits,” Terushima didn’t care whether he’s acting selfishly but he doesn’t feel the need to be sorry. It’s not his fault that he’s hurt. So what if he’s easily hurt? Terushima doesn’t care anymore and just lets his pride reign.

“Wow, I’m proud of myself that I was able to put up with your attitude since our third year in high school,” Terushima looked at him then pouted. This was bad. He suddenly feels bad. He leaned his head on Futakuchi’s shoulder and slightly nuzzled his neck.

“I’m sorry,” Terushima sighed. “I’m just.. feeling conflicted. I’ve been hanging out with Konoha just as a friend, okay? But I’m feeling guilty like I’m cheating on Akiteru—"

“But you’re not with Akiteru-san,”

“But we kissed!” Terushima groaned and angrily stomped his feet. God, what was happening to him? “If I’m feeling this bad by just having coffee with a friend, then how could he easily go out with a girl without even looking guilty? It’s unfair, Kenji!” Terushima was crying again. Unfair. Unfair. _Unfair._

“Yuuji,” Futakuchi wiped Terushima’s tears and as soon as he did this, the elevator opened and Misaki was staring at them with wide eyes.

“I- I—“ Misaki was blushing madly.

“Good morning, Misaki-san! Please take care of our Terushima-san here for a while. He said that he’s feeling _conflicted_ as of the moment,” Futakuchi said then winked at Misaki who looked like she’s about to burst because of redness.

“Shut up, Kenji,” Terushima said before going out of the elevator and greeting Misaki. But before the elevator closes, Terushima mouthed a thank you to Futakuchi before the man goes up to his respective floor.

“Are you okay, Terushima-kun?” Misaki asked as they walk towards Terushima’s cubicle.

“Yes, I am. Futakuchi-san’s just being himself, please don’t mind anything that he said,” Misaki let out a soft sound as he agreed to Terushima. And when the blonde finally sits on his swiveling chair, he notices that Misaki was still behind him like she’s waiting for something.

“Terushima-kun, are you and Futakuchi-san—“

“We’re exes and currently best friends, Misaki-san,”

“O-oh okay. Let’s have a good day today then!” She said then hurriedly goes away. Terushima rolled his eyes, not to Misaki but what she said. There’s not a single good day in Terushima’s day as long as he’s in this building, using the knowledge that he didn’t really want to acquire in the first place.

He tries to calm himself down. He didn’t really mean to cry in the elevator, it’s embarrassing.

“Dumb,” Terushima whispered to himself when he felt warm upon looking at his and Akiteru’s picture together. He can wait for his call. He was sure that he can even though he’s hurting every time that he remembers how that girl holds Akiteru’s arm. He’s been running after him for years now, he could probably endure a few more weeks. Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays! <3


End file.
